Bite Me

Freaky Frappuccino: Starbuck’s Unicorn

I’ll admit, the Unicorn Frappuccino raised a suspicious eyebrow and made me really want to try it. Everyone bashing on about how terrible it was made me want to try it even more. So yes, a day after coming back from New Orleans (posts for which are coming soon, stay tuned 😉 ), I got a Unicorn Frappuccino.

Starbuck's Unicorn Frappuccino

From Anthony Bourdain to Stephen Colbert, this poor unicorn has been dragged through the mud. What it really tastes like is Nerds candy in a frappuccino without the pop that Nerds usually have. No, it’s not good. But if you’re curious about how it actually tastes other than “bad,” I’ll have you know it’s liquified Nerds–the candy that looks like the brightly colored aquarium you put at the bottom of your fish tank in the 90s before the “natural” aquarium look came into style.

The website describe this as a mix of mango syrup and “pink and blue fairy powders,” which makes me wonder where they pulled that out of. But while “fairy powders” may sound like a euphemism for something you would find people smoking in Coachella, it is later expanded upon in fine print to be made of sugar, citric acid and food coloring–what little children are made of.Starbuck's Unicorn Frappucino

To be fair, the experience of the Unicorn Frappuccino reminded me of Harry Potter.

Only one who has nothing to lose, and everything to gain, would commit such a crime. The blood of a unicorn will keep you alive, even if you are an inch from death, but at a terrible price. You have slain something so pure and defenseless to save yourself, you will have but a half-life, a cursed life, from the moment the blood touches your lips.” — Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone, J.K. Rowling.

So was it worth it? ¯\_(ಠ_ಠ)_/¯ Honestly, I’ve got nothing to lose. A college-student already lives a half-life.

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